At 2:00am, I’m writing this because to my dismay, the Bailey’s did not counteract the coffee like I hoped it would. Duly noted, caffeine, duty noted. You have and always will win against sleep.
But, I’m not writing about sleep, I’m writing about a myriad of things that have congealed to form the collective passion-block I’ve been experiencing lately. I say passion-block because it exceeds the depth of a typical creative block. I’ve reached a wall, and I know exactly what caused it.
I started this blog as an outgrowth of my desire to live successfully in this unique stage of life. A time when young adults grow more fully into themselves and shed the old identity of being their parents’ dependent. We act like it happens overnight, but there’s nothing magical about turning twenty, graduating from college, or even getting married that prepares us for the confusing road ahead.
While we rejoice at the chance to discover our own tastes, put down our own roots, and discover more truly who we are, we’re met with the daunting reality that the world is a whole lot bigger than we thought, and the decisions that impact us for the rest of our lives now rest on our shoulders, whether we know what the heck we’re doing or not. By the way, we don’t know what the heck we’re doing.
In a simple world, there would be answers for those who seek them–I myself am a nearly obsessive answer-seeker, spending great amounts of time just researching things that interest me. The problem isn’t that there’s no answers. It’s that there are too many answers.
One thirst I cannot quench is the desire to learn how to live healthy. From choosing the right foods to finding a realistic fitness schedule and even natural remedies to health problems, I’ve got a whole lot of questions and I know everyone else does too. The problem is, the second I think I’ve got it figured out, I find conflicting advice.
For example, it seems organic milk would be better for you. But then again, many of the concerns about nonorganic milk, like antibiotics, are tested before the milk gets released and milk containing antibiotics isn’t sold. But organic milk contains more vitamins. But it’s ultra-pasteurized at a much higher temp than normal milk so much of the nutritional value is lost. But, but, but…
The evidence is all so contradictory it makes my head spin…how can an already indecisive woman make a simple choice like buying milk when everybody seems to disagree? On the recommendation of a friend who happens to be a dietician student, I’m going to pay closer attention to my sources to clear out some of the static. She recommended a few sources I’m going to check out.
I’m really trying to figure out and make positive changes in my lifestyle before children enter the picture. I’ve wanted to blog about running, but a shinjury (yes I made that up) early on has kept me from running regularly the past few weeks and its not getting better. Then, this week I learned that the very product I blogged about earlier, natural peanut butter from Smuckers, was recalled for possible bacteria contamination. Mind you it was the crunchy variation that was recalled and not the smooth that I bought, but it was enough to make that jar look so unappetizing that I bought a jar of regular old JIF today.
I’m upset that my attempts to get healthy are being foiled, and my discouragement is leaching into my blog.
If you’re still reading this, I congratulate you. I hope you stick around to see me through this season of frustration, because I’m sure I’ll emerge from it a little bit wiser and more convicted.
Love, a really exhausted twentysomething